Wow, this was, like, four journals ago.

My current is one here http://airtozephyr.livejournal.com/profile and probably won't change in forever.

And ignore the old entries from this journal. >__>

Invoke often.
Banish often.

For those who missed it, my new Livejournal is

http://www.livejournal.com/users/pilgrim_shadow/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pilgrim_shadow/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pilgrim_shadow/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pilgrim_shadow/

I have some new clothes and my hair is dyed. Photos coming later when I find my camera. I am So. Fucking. Hot.

All gas is now over $3 in Clifton Park. I saw it hit $3.75-$4 in Saratoga for Premium. May God be with us all.

So I hooked Mike up with $1300 hidden in First Niagara bank today. He knew nothing about it, his parents (who use Trustco) aren't going to find out. Apparently it was some kind of school savings account started with another bank ten years ago which FN bought out and Mike's parents forgot about.

I've tinkered with my journal layout a bit, so now it's more than just a default theme.

Current weather: Raining, night.

I'm going to put that there from now on.

Tonight we initiated Nancy Yu and had some ice cream at my Friendly's. Then we went to Kingston (without anyone from the Kingston Division, sadly) and went to the _other_ abandoned cement factory Abby showed me. This place is cool cause you can really access it inside and out, and there are more buildings. You can go in the silo complex and look up forever, and the warehouses are big and one has two levels above it with catwalks and stuff. There are smaller stoprage buildings all over, some fallen iron line towers and other things, and the entire place is covered with graffiti- some very well-made- and the entire place is converted into a (non-commercial) paintball arena. In the day it reminds me of a Halo 2 multiplayer map. Abby really wanted to check it out at night to see how creepy it was and stuff, but although I like the night in general more this place really strikes me as more of a daytuime adventure because it's so outdoors and you want to see the entire place to get the effect of this ruin area going on in every direction. Things that are better at night are completely indoors, like the asylum.

They're finally here. Hot Topic is now selling fashion goggle-headbands, my favorite accessory for a long time. And they're actually designed to be headbandy, so they're far more comfortable than any of my goggles. I need to buy them once they come to their senses and stock tinted goggles.

I also finally bought the Schrodinger's Cat trilogy. Go me.

Now to spend the rest of my money on my speeding ticket =D

I'm working five days this week:

Tue-Wed 6-12, Fri-Sat 5-1 Sun 5-12, all evenings of course. I hope this sticks cause I'd like more money for, you know, paying off my small debts and then getting to buy cool things.

Ha ha ha. Mom has a journal now. Not going to be censoring anything because of it, though.

More secrets. Everything is a fucking secret to everybody. I hate secrets.

It isn't always something subtle, or just in your mind. It can be so blatant it amazes you how you could not have seen it before. And it isn't just something you do, it is something you are. Even doing it requires a new view of the world which much shape your personality. I have seen it, just what people are asking to see before they believe. I have felt it and known it and understood it. I'm an occultist for a reason.

Noone can really know anything, eh? That may be useful for humility, but how useful is it for anything else? How busy are you arguing that you never really know something, unable to actually commit to something and do it? How satisfying can anything be when you know that such a fact is subjective and transitory? Sometimes you should swallow your humble "knowledge" of knowing nothing and "know" things, because you can't do anything without some level of "knowledge."

Christianity talks about faith a lot. Not just believing something like you believe what someone tells you when you trust them, but an absolute, redeeming faith in the truth of something absolute, without proof. Early gnostic branches of Christianity diverged in, among other things, this point. Their namesake, "gnosis," means knowledge. It can be translated as knowledge as in to know a fact, information, or it can be translated as knowledge by means of experience. Like pistis, faith, to Christians, gnosis was a special, absolute and redeeming knowledge. The question is, does the path to salvation, in whatever form it may take, come with faith in the absolute or knowledge of the absolute?

I laughed up at the sky and the clouds and the sun, because even though she was gone... even though she was dead at this moment in time... I knew that somewhere within the fabric of the Universe, somewhere in the flowing river of time, she was still alive and happy and laughing. Somewhere in the past, we were still together and I was still holding her hand.

Me: The paragraph in your profile... Where is it from?
Sofi: From a story in my head.
Me: So sad...
Sofi: I suppose.
Sofi: I think it's more hopeful.

I've been granted time. I must use it.

Just came back from twenty-four hours in Kerhonkson/Rosendale hanging out with Abby, Sierra, Joe, Sophie, Bryant and Shia. I left for there right after work Sunday night. Tomorrow I'm going to Washington D.C. with Mike, Garrett, Kimli, and anyone else who will come at the last minute. Friday through Sunday I have work.

Bryant and Joe, whom I never met before the cement factory/ never hung out with before are more fun than I expected. Thanks to Joe for letting me borrow the second half of Full Metal Alchemist! I was only up to episode 32 getting them transferred from Abby over AIM.

Nothing more detailed I feel like reporting at the moment.

Raf is a character in the RP I'm running on MZDM, whose cosmology is such that he is aware of the nazture of the Dream through the fourth wall, i.e. player-gods, though maybe not to the extent of being a forum site on the internet. His last post cracked me up:


Observation Deck – Ladies Restroom

“...well that’s unexpected,” Raf says as he reads though the one piece of paper. Looking down at the rest of the stack, the half breed decides he really doesn’t have anything better to do at the moment then to dive right in. And so he does, shifting and reading though the piles of paper, trying to make rhyme and reason from the story that it tells, not to mention why it’s telling it in a ladies rest room. After all, it had to be here for a reason, this was the Dream.

Yes, the Dream. As much as Suigin keeps on telling him not to rely on his own presumptions on how things work, some certain facts remain a clear certainty to Raf and one of them tells him that this was still the Dream... just the Dream pretending to be somewhere else due to some player god’s desire’s.

Actually, given Suigin’s central position throughout all of this, it was most likely his player gods, which in itself is enough to throw all rules out the window and then throw the window out itself for good measure.

But that’s all beside the point since despites these thoughts in his head, and the constant tension from the possibility that who knows what could burst in through the door at any second, Raf is using these precious moments by himself without things bursting though the door to try and make sense of the papers in front of him.